Entries for August, 2006

August 5th, 2006

painfull~


r4kun

huellow tabuey,,,
i'm suffering now, by my lowback pain. it's really2 painfull.. huhhh.. i can't do any sport, how can i lose my weight then? btw, a bit tired now.. just went back from friend's sweet seventeen party. it's been 2 busy weeks lately, 2 weeks ago i have sweet 17 party and either today. well, i dun really like party, cause, have to wear the so not me clothe.. like skirt and bla bla.. i do love jeans and polo men. hahaz..

about school
it's almost a month being 11A2 student, am i right? i think so.. everyday, there's always surprise for you.. such like "well, student, we'll have quiz today, close your book" hauhauhau.. surprising men.. hahhaha.. one more thing.. i just wanna apoligize for the gangsta, agnes, ajes, april, rossy. i never able to eat togehter with you all, too busy with my own stuff, such meeting meeting and meeting.. honestly i miss eating and laughing together, but really thank you for your understanding all.. for april, never give up. i know how it feels, cause i had cried before and it caused by the mark i get.. but you have to think the bright side, study, is not always about the number, but the value that you can get behind the things you learn. friends, never give up! you all are the best, i've ever had!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 http://www.hancinema.net/korean_drama_Princess_Hours.php (love this movie, love the actress, the girl so CUTE)

ther thought
i'm so happy to realize that i dun have any feeling with you again, it's just like a freedom for me.. keeping this feeling, waiting for you.. act like nothing happen, it's just suck. it's just killing myself, i dun want to feel like this way, anymore. maybe it's just a mistake to love you before, but i will never regret, i will never forget your kindness, thx for visiting my life, even it 's just a while.. thx for the kindness, you care, your faithfullness, thx for everything, i really appreciate with everything i've done with you before. just wishing you all the best

Currently listening to: Hillsong's songs
Currently reading: Tuesday with Morrie
Posted by r4kun at 04:12 PM | give me five!

August 6th, 2006

bored


r4kun
I'm super duper bored, i don't know, wether i'm too selfish or people don't understand me. monday-friday, busy with my school, i spend almost a day for school life, wake up at 6, go home at 5, have some break till 10, and it's so repetitive. saturday, i need to physioteraphy, then, i didn't go anywhere.. and sunday, i wanna go somewhere, almost every week i go to mm and i'm sick bout mm, *sigh*
Posted by r4kun at 08:32 AM | give me five!

August 7th, 2006

tired


r4kun
It is our duty as men and women to proceed as though the limits of our abilities do not exist.
 
 ******
 
If there was nothing wrong in the world there wouldn't be anything for us to do
 
I'm so tired and I'm sleepy now.. this week, gonna full with meeting, meeting and meeting again.. full schedule with tests, quizess and preparation for the project, wish me luck.
 
pretend as having no feeling is just a stupid thing that i did, i don't know what should i do with this feeling, but i decide to ask him bout this, maybe it'll just put shame on me, but it's not about shame or no anymore.. i hope, i have enough courage to ask him *amen*
Currently feeling: tired
Posted by r4kun at 02:51 PM | give me five!

August 8th, 2006

i'm the stranger


r4kun
We are continually faced with great opportunities which are brilliantly disguised as unsolvable problems.
 
huaahhh... today, i had Mrs. Lena's test, well is not as hard as i thought before, thx God.. tomorrow i gonna have Mr. Wayan's quiz, later.. m a y b e, I'll study, hehehe.. wish me luck.. ooo busy week.. ooo lazy weekk.. hahahaz.. anyone know about web to learn korea (language)? i don't know, i'm so into koreann now.. hahaha.. is not because the guy i like looks alike korean kok.. hahahaha.... 
 

HowL - "Parrot" (full ver.)

I miss you again, just like it's yesterday
My desire to see you just won't disappear
You just keep appearing in my mind

The more I comfort myself, the more I cry
Even if I rub away those tears secretly..
The memories spreading to other memories
Making me cry with pain

I regret that I've only recieved
Will you forget me because I haven't given you anything
I love you, I love you

This is what I learned from you
Out of all the words and phrases in the world
This has become my favorite phrase
I mutter it to myself, as if I were stupid
I'm really sorry
I'm sorry
I'm sorry for these words that are too late
I wait for you without a sense of honor
Will you return tomorrow by chance

[I have no idea how to translate this one line, sorry!]
I liked it, I was happy

I didn't know how to confess, I believed in forever
If on that day, even if only in my dreams
If I could return to that day, I'd collect all my emotions
I would empty out my heart and give it all to you
I love you, I love you

This is what I learned from you
Out of all the words and phrases in the world
This has become my favorite phrase
I mutter it to myself, as if I were stupid
I'm really sorry
I'm sorry
I'm sorry for these words that are too late
I wait for you without a sense of honor
Will you return tomorrow by chance

This mind/heart
Even if it's ended, we won't know
Even if you can't come
Even if you've changed
Even if it's not me
I call out
I call out again
Like a parrot, I call out your name
And your love, like this

 
 
hayahh.. so stupid aghh.. i've called him, but i dun courage enough to ask.. stupid stupid stupid.. hahahaz.. well, i know, is not easy, moreover.. it's about something a bit privacy. thx to april.. for couraging me.. hihi.. i gonna ask him, a.s.a.p, before he goes back... i promise to you pril.. so sorry mond, if i just interupted you this evening, called you without any intention, hehehe.. sorry i'm so stupid, act so weird eiither..  _
Currently listening to: OST Princess Hours - perhaps love
Currently feeling: tired
Posted by r4kun at 01:20 PM | give me five!

August 9th, 2006

under pressure~


r4kun
huhh.. stressed out.. well.. not really live under pressure, just think, i dun have enough time to do all my stuff... i'm a bit tired morover after met the physics tutor, she's so confusing.. _ _" agghhh.. feel so useless and unproductive, this is not ferna that i know before, i'm not ferna like before anymore.. i want be ferna as before... huhhh.. stop writting, better do my stuff *complicated*
Posted by r4kun at 02:39 PM | give me five!

August 11th, 2006

tiring day


r4kun

 

"Every time you state what you want or believe, you're the first to hear it. It's a message to both you and others about what you think is possible. Don't put a ceiling on yourself.
 
 

i don't since when, today become most tiring day for me.. so sleepy, just went back home at 7, and i've just taken bath at 9, now i feel super tired. *0,5 watts for each eye ----_----* hohohoho... i have no topic right now, to write.. just wanna share some web.. for those who interested in korean, you can learn the language from www.learnkorea.com or http://rki.kbs.co.kr/learn_korean/lessons/e_index.htm. there you go, guys!

so in love with koreannnn

a bit bout school life..
many students in science dep said, they r jealous with the social dept, i don't know why, they said, they feel stressed, under pressure, etc etc, different with me, i dun feel those feelings, but i just have no motivation... have no spirit in going to school, huh.. it's more worse i guess, need some spirit, or motivattion, so i can motivate my self. gambatte ferna,.. hauhauha.. btw i've put post it on my table, and with -semangat!- pic on it loh.. hahaha.. it helps me a bit.. well, ferna, come on! school's fun lohh.. hahaha.. i wanna go out this weekend, i should! should! should!

Currently feeling: half wake half sleep
Posted by r4kun at 03:41 PM | give me five!

August 12th, 2006

weekend


r4kun

i just too love weekend man... : p *hihi* todae, woke up aprrox at 8 something, as ussual, go to hospital for phisioteraphy, but today i didn't have any tuition *yes* i change to monde, horee.. so, after finished phisioteraphy, went to mm, walked around, and bought a set of cookie cutters.. very cute, it bear-shaped, from the tinny one till the biggy size, but i duno when will i make the cookie, maybe tomorrow or..i don't know, for the crispy cracker, i postpone it too.. hehehe.. *so typical* feel a bit tired now, maybe cause i walked all day long, need some rest i guess. me feel v. full too, cause, i had KFC for my lunch, and i just had it approx 3 o'clock, we bought the big bucket (include 9 pcs chix) and bought some extra chicken.. weww.. long time no eat junk food yo, hihi...

i don't think i need ask you that question cause, i think i know the answer : )

wich one better agh? 

[.ferna^^kinata.]

.ferna.kinata.

.ferna.kinata^^.

.ferna^^kinata.

ferna :9

.ferna :9.

.ferna.kinata :9. 

Currently listening to: dangshineul naneun babo imnida
Currently reading: Tuesday with morrie
Currently feeling: tired and full
Posted by r4kun at 11:08 AM | 2 toss..

August 13th, 2006

dannb **/**/n/!


r4kun

well, okay, i've just read rossy's blog, and now i feel what i'd writtern before was just like sh*t, nothing important, nothing nescescary or whatever you call it. thought bout myself, i start to think that i've changed a bit, do you think so, ros? i become a bit quiet, while we are gathering, i'll just eat n hear what are people talking. i don't know anything bout the latest info, even the info about one of my closest friend whom has been in a relationship. what kind of friend am i? i seldom, spend my break time with meeting, meeting and meeting. feel a bit tired, with this motonous activity.

motivation.motivation.motivation.motivation.motivation.motivation.motivation. motivation.motivation.motivation.motivation.motivation.motivation.motivation. motivation.motivation.motivation.motivation.motivation.motivation.motivation. motivation.motivation.motivation.motivation.motivation.motivation.motivation.  
motivation.
yah, that word. i need that, i need "motivation", but i have no any motivation to do all my stuff now, and that's definetelly not good. have no spirit to do anything, just feel bored, bored, and bored. (maybe i can establish "republica of boredom" well anyone interested to join it?)

now, my mind is blank, i feel like i was the lost child, feel nowhere to go, nothing to do, i lose my way, the direction and i lose my spirit, what should i do? who can take those thing back? m.y.s.e.l.f

i wanna go out from this damn bored circumstance! anyone take me, please! 

********** 

 

Currently feeling: damn.jerk
Posted by r4kun at 09:38 AM | 4 toss..

August 20th, 2006

ferna's back~


r4kun
"You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when. You can only decide how you're going to live - now."
 
"Treat a man as he is, and he will remain as he is. Treat a man as he should be, and he will become what he could be."
 
"Truly greater is the power within you than any other power on Earth." 
 
"The most valuable thing you can make is a mistake - you can't learn anything from being perfect."
 
"Change. It has the power to uplift, to heal, to stimulate, surprise, open new doors, bring fresh experience and create excitement in life. Certainly it is worth the risk."
 
"Be not afraid of growing slowly, be afraid only of standing still." 
 
Huahuahuahau.. the new ferna's back. *halah : p*
okay, just wanna tell you about what happened after i wrote the previous entry. you can see the strange title, right? it because of i dropped my juice into the keyboard and suddenly the keyboard "error" every button i push.. other words gonna appear. i try to dry it, with open the button, till i got scar on my finger.. hehehe.. that day, i was so badd.. very very bad. i got the scar, my finger was bledding, i cried, that day, i felt soooooo bad.. you can see from the mood i chose. hehe.. 
 
everything i got that day, it really open my eyes.. and really thx to God~ : ) I believe, He'll never leave us. never ever~ He gonna pick you up when you are down, He gonna feel your dryness : ) He's the almighty! hohoho...
 
i think this entry gonna be a bit long, cause i want to write bout what had happened this several days. start from...
 
17.08.06 "ceremony flag - Indonesia Independece Day - 61st"
even it supposed to be a holiday, but we still have to go to school.. nationality! you know? nationality. hehehe.. same as my principle's speech topic. i bet you still remember, Ros. However, I'm a bit proud of my own school.. (school-iality not nationality) ehh... proud of the student deh.. we won lots of tournament (??) match (??) aghh.. wathever deh~ : D on this day, i feel a bit stressed, Steve! *kick!* he didn't organized well the sell-o-thingy. (sorry Steve.) all stressed things, finally have been paid by the night, went to... err.. (think hardly) wheree.. *think* PIM and Puri ehh.. err.. i think PIM and Puri deh.. hohohoho... lumayan, cuci mata cuci lemak..
 
18.08.06 "still have to go to school? oh nooo"
hahahaz... went to school, nothing special i guess.. well, next, fer~ *sip!*
 
19.08.06 "yesterday"
wewww... went to TA, with all confusing thingy the night before, well, finally went to TA. arrived there at 11, and other friends had just come at 1.. walked around approx 2 hours.. till tired and feel a bit fever (warm). hahahaz.. oh yeahh.. while i was waiting April, Ajes, and others.. i ate at oh lala.. and finally april arrived, ajes arrived.. and many people started gathering there.. when ajes and april arrived, the 'salest' men didn't say anything.. maybe cause he still think.. agh gpp.. ntar juga mereka beli.. hahaz.. and suddenly when agnes, micky and ahoy came, the mas2.. udah mulai ga tahan.. gile.. "everyone gathering here, no one of them (who later come) buy any food or drink from here? bangkrupt men! first, the mas2 still from the cashier, he said "yak.. adik2 boleh dibeli roti dan minumanna" then no one gubris him, and finally he came and said "boleh di pesen roti ato minum-na" karena ga enak, finally ahoy and micky bought some salad and drink.. hahahaz.. (sorry with the mixed language : D) at night, went to Burgundy listened to live music, met up with some new friends.. oh yah... today is QC's budaee...
 
talk bout this date, a year ago... something meaningfull happened to me, and.. let it go lahh.. don't want to discuss it : D
 
20.08.06 "which is mean TODAY"
almost late to go to church, hahahaz.. just woke up at 9.44, *sakti men* church (preach) start at 11, but we left home at 10.30 (as ussuall..) me and my bro, had to jaga 6 chairs more, for k charles, k heru, widjajas' twins, c novi and sis.. stressfull menn.. udah gereja penuh, nih orang ga nongol2.. ga enak sama yang laenn.. eh i met Karen too.. she's leaving next saturday, too bad, haven't gone anywhere with her.. well,, kapan2 yahh.. hihihihi..
 
after from church, went to pi by walked, ate chopstix, feel so full, made some cookies, and... now lehai lehoi.. kk asked me to go to kelapa gading. hayah.. enough going out to the mall.. i start enek with mall menn... hauhauha.. satisfied enough... these 3 days, i become the mall discover(er)...
 
uhlalalallaa.. tomorrow still FREE.. not really dehhh.. still have 2 proposal to do.. *dang!* hahahaha.. *gelo agh gw* sudah ahhh..
 
have.a.nice.holiday.and.day.bye.bye.God.bless.you.all.wherever.you.are.and.whatever.you.do!
 
mwaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
 
(Rossy : ___________ ___________" apaan seh lu fer : p) 
 
Currently listening to: Jack Johson - the sharing song
Currently feeling: :)
Posted by r4kun at 10:19 AM | 2 toss..

August 21st, 2006


r4kun
There is no better time than right now to be happy.
 
yo! hohoho... feel so tired men, just went back home, after went around jakarta.. hahaz... start from this morning, i woke up at six (for a while) said "bye2" to mom, that's it, and went back slept, finally woke up at 9 (i guess) had big breakfast, and had lunch at Grogol. went there with k Indra and Edmond, met C Wen n k Willy there. after had our lunch, as k Kar "smart" recommendation, guess what, we went to Sentul. bro said, Sentul has just opened new Mall. well, yahh a very new mall, till there's no shops open yet agh.. (as our eyes look around, we just can see Hypermart "sejauh mata memandang, cuman bisa liat Hypermart" weleehh.. so we went back to Jkt loh, we went to PIM, had some afternoon snack at "death by chocolate" cafe or what you call it.. hm.. my opinion bout the name, it supposed to be "death by the fatty cream" i ordered fudge out, but what i got was just cream cream and cream (hey! i order fudge out! not creme out agh! you want me to die by the fatty cream agh? _ _" well, cause as known as mubasir, if you didn't eat it, finally i separated the cream and the cake. then.. i make my new own menu.. hauhauahu.. i put together the death cream, on the middle of the plat, then, as the attribute, the whipped creme, dikelilingin di sampingna (sorry, not good in describing something, moreover in englsih : D) okei.. and.. for the final touch.. *cleaning throat sound* i put brown sugar on it.. and noww... with honour, i introduce the new menu from "death by chocolate creme" cafe, the creamy *fireworks voice* huahauhau...

okei okei.. i'm death by the cream, and i'm eneq by the sweet thingy, so i decide to eat torri popcorn.. hohoho.. *brutal* i'd decided to not eat again, but.. after carried back c wen to her house, the guys, want to eat.. then we went to eat garuda minang.. ayahh.. eat again~ eat again~

dhoo.. gtg, iwe's calling... he wants to have some consultation.. hehe :D dhoo.. still many to tell nih.. later

*yippiii daddy goes home~*
Posted by r4kun at 03:14 PM | give me five!

August 26th, 2006

sleepy and tiring day~


r4kun
There is nothing noble in being superior to some other man. The true nobility is in being superior to your previous self.
 
One thing we can do is make the choice to view the world in a healthy way. We can choose to see the world as safe with only moments of danger rather than seeing the world as dangerous with only moments of safety.
 
Life without risks is not worth living.
 
I can change. I can live out my imagination instead of my memory. I can tie myself to my limitless potential instead of my limiting past.
 
about these last 4 days...
*thinking of it*
hmp.. to be honest, i forget what had happened, hehehe.. so i'll just write about yesterday and today. 
 
yesterday - friday 25.08.06
had e-math make up quiz... which i think it wasn't make up quiz, cause i couldn't do it. i don't know why i felt blank. i didn't even remember how to make those domain or hell range *sigh* felt so dipressed, till i cried a while. felt so stupid moreover for Q #2. why did i have to draw the graph? whereas i didn't have to! what a pathetic me? well, it had passed neway, so who cares? (actually : I care) :/ what else? oh yeah, overnight at school. it was fun, at 6 we had some discussion about "leadership" and we went to MM by walk to have our dinner, this fun activity started become fatty activity since we bought lots of snack and we snack at midnite that day. after had our dinner, we went back to school by car (hehe) cause it was raining, we had to continue another activity and the topic was about "how to be a succed person" (ehhh.. am i right? forget _ _". we finished those discussion or forum or whatever you call it at midnite (12.00 am ~ ding dong ding dong) we didn't sleep but we played fireworks for a while (thx, the rain had stopped).
 
today...
just passed 12 am..
we gatheret at meeting room, some of people played card, capsa, and so on.. but we, the hyperact pip (me, edwin, tyo, jeka, etc etc) we played "wus pyong door" game and we played do mi ka do (while playing the game, we had to shake our butt "tried to burn our calories" hehehe.. we played "chabu2 ca ca ca" which called "dukun game" by Edo or Edwin. (forget) hahahaha... i think it was 3 o'clock and finally at almost 4, i was tepar. i brushed my teeth, washed my face and had some rest for a while. woke up at 5, do some "pau-bu" with daddi on the atlatic track. hauhauahua... played futsal for a while and had to have some preparation, me, tyo, edwin, catherine and edo had to accompany the profile-program. too bad anthony had to go home cause he was sick the night before. we became the facilitator, it was fun at all, i kept been bullied by the children. T_T how dare they are... hahahahaaa... but i know they were joking, they are so frank. i met several students before at the previous of simetris' program.
 
watched them playing, had some discussion after the game, had some brain storming and for me.. they are mature enough on their ages, even they are just 5/6th grader, when i asked them "why were we lose?" they could tell the answer correctly, they know the reason and it reminds me of us... how immatured we are sometimes, how blinded we are, even we know the reason, why we always make the same fault?
 
it's very fun and it's very educative, i learn many things today, and i wish it'll open my eyes...
 
dhooo *headache* 30" more, it's Agnes' bufdae, i believe i can stand on it. dhooo... very tired.... *headache headache*
 
something silly bout me today...
i went back home and i was verryy verrryyy sleepy till i fell asleep on my brother's bed while i watched dvd. and suddenlyyyy.... guling kk kuw.. ter-ileri oleh kuww... hauhauahuahau.. really sorry bro.. i dun meant it... heuhauahuahua.... 
 
Currently listening to: Jack Johnson - belle
Currently feeling: very tired
Posted by r4kun at 04:26 PM | give me five!

August 27th, 2006

sunday~


r4kun

eng ing eng... today is Agnes' bufdae... *sing a happy bufdae song* hohohoho... well, for today, there's nothing important, i guess...

i'm ol now (msn) and suddenly two people in the same time, ask me about Joo Jin Hoo picture.. huahauhua.. everybody become princess hours lover now, good good..

tomorrow is Monday and... i can feel those pressure now... hix
this monday begin with PC test, proposal and E-math test...
Tuesday with Math, Chemz pretest, practicum and dateline for citizenship mind maping.
Wednesday with chemz test which is confusing
Thursday with physics proposal dateline...

*sigh*

 fernaaa!!! spirit! spirit!!

where the spirit, huh? 

Posted by r4kun at 10:31 AM | give me five!

August 30th, 2006

blessed~


r4kun
Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.
 
God, i wanna say thank you for those bless you give me.. people around me.. their careness, their love.. and so on...
still remember bout my nightover thingy last friday? i wanna say thx to diand, he covered me with his sleeping bag, how sweet, and kobo, he didn't sleep, but he lent his sleeping bag to me.. flo, vq, and spescially the gangsta.. well, i start feel the distance between us.. i really miss those time we hang out together.. huhhh.. i miss you all and i really love you all... oh yahh.. thx for everyone whom have already written the message to me!! arigatouuu... and for the squarel (me, vici, edwin and fredrick) we always sit together while the subject.. i'll start to not think about my weigh, weighing once a week, i'll try!! arigatou for everythingg.. arigatou for the spirit! more about this (dhoo.. i wrote this so random and so complicated, so sorry thennn : p) mochi... i gonna try to do my best! not to be too sensitive, stronger inside and outside... gladys, sorry if i'm selfish, i'll try to make up my selfishness, nattou, vc, i know i must be stronger! edwin, fredrick, i'll try not to think bout my weigh.... newayy.. arigatouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu~~~~~~

God, thx for blessing me... teach me how to be blessed for the others~
Posted by r4kun at 01:44 PM | give me five!
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